Doubly Masked, a Mix of Fear and Hope

 I don't have as much time to write this morning.  I'm leaving early, so that I can help open the Hollywood campus before I drive to the Ft. Lauderdale campus for day 1 of a two day orientation.  The e-mail with the orientation schedule went to 58 people.  If they all show up, I don't know how we'll fit safely into that room; it's a big room, but it's not that big.

But it's likely that they won't all show up.  Some of them will have to teach.  Some of them will read the sentence about being able to watch the recording later and decide to go that route.  Some of them won't want to make the trip from Gainesville or Orlando.

I had similar concerns back in December when we met as a larger group, and it turned out to be O.K.  And this time, I've had one vaccine dose, so I'm more protected than I would be with no vaccine in my body.  Still, I plan to be double-masked and to take my masks off as little as possible.

On Sunday, at the 11 a.m. church service, I looked out across the congregation and thought about how rarely in the past year I've been in an inside space with that many people--about 50 people.  We were spaced out across a chancel built for 300 congregants, so we were able to stay separated.  

Most of us hadn't seen each other in over a year, at least not in person.  I could see many of us trying to figure out this new normal--how close could we get to each other?  There was no hugging, although in the past, we were a congregation of gentle huggers.  There were some fist bumps, but mostly there were waves across the sanctuary.

It was also strange that it was Easter Sunday, a Sunday when traditionally we'd be seeing families that don't come more regularly.  This year, we've all been jumbled in terms of participation, as some of us have participated more than we would have in the pre-recorded segments of the services and some of us have drifted away.

Throughout the morning, across 3 services, I sometimes felt my heart squeeze at the thought of all the stresses and losses of the past year.  I've stayed more connected than many people.  I still go into the office each day, and I'm still doing lots of work with the church.  But I'm aware of all the ways my connections have become a bit looser; I'm not seeing people as much as I once was.  I know that some people have substituted Zoom calls for in-person get togethers, and I've done that to an extent, but not as much as some people I know.

So in a way, I understand the desire to have us gather in person, whether it be in church, in schools, or in the workplace.  I will try to hold onto that understanding as I go to my work orientations today, doubly masked, in a mix of fear and hope.