January 1, 2030

I realize that many are debating whether or not we start a new decade today or a year from now.  I have always celebrated the changing of the decade when we move from the year ending in 9 to the year ending in 0.  So I am thinking about the next decade today.

I have also thought about the past decade--I've been writing a blog post, but I have yet to actually hit the publish button.  Today, though, I want to look ahead, not just to the coming year but to the coming decade.

When I was younger, in my family of origin, we would often say, "Where do you think we'll be this time next year?"  When a new decade approached, we had even more to ponder.

Where do I want to be on the morning of January 1, 2030?

Wow, 2030!  That sounds so far into the future, but we know it will zoom by quickly.  So let me take a minute to think about what/who/where I'd like to be in 10 years.

--I want to have a book with a spine published.  This goal has been my goal for decades now.  Let me not despair.  Or maybe I should have more ambition--maybe I should want to have 2 books with a spine by January 1, 2030.  One will be a book of poems, and one to be determined.

I have been sending my book length manuscript out once a month.  It is time to send out book length manuscripts twice a month.

--But more importantly, I want to keep moving towards daily and weekly practices that nourish me:  more writing of all sorts, more sketching, more collage, more fabrics/fiber, more prayer, more pausing to reflect.

--Unless higher education changes substantially, I need to find a way to make a living outside of higher ed.  I need a career that pays both our mortgage and our health insurance.  It would be nice if my spouse had one of those too, but the times that we've both had that kind of job have been few and far between.

What would this living look like?  One of the elements that drew me to higher education was the idea that I could be part of helping people improve their lives, so I'd like to find another career that does that too.  I love the idea of leading retreats, of being a chaplain of some sort (but not a parish pastor), of being part of a team that creates opportunities for people to encounter the sacred and Divine in new ways.

--I want to be living a more vibrant life.  I want to spend less hours, both physical and mental hours, at work, in an office.  I want more creative time.  I want more time with friends, and it's sobering to realize that in 10 years, I'm likely to have lost one or two.  I want to be more Zen Kristin and less control freak Kristin.

I'm trying to only be thinking about my life and what I can control.  I look at my patterns of consumption and wonder what I'm trying to heal through my excesses.  I look at the excesses of my spouse with alarm--they are more excessive than mine and more likely to damage his health, particularly in terms of alcohol and smoking.  Part of living a more vibrant life for me will be looking at my excesses with a more discerning gaze.

--Part of living a more vibrant life means I need to be aware of my body more--but not in the shaming kind of ways that have consumed me so much during the first half of my life.  Let the coming decade be one of stretching more, hunching less, working steadily with weights, taking a daily walk, doing something more vigorous several times a week.  Let me keep eating fruits and vegetables.  Let me keep smiling.

--By 2030, we'll have a better handle on some of the questions that plague me right now:  should we move and if so, where?  When can we retire?  What will Medicare look like?  Let me be open to more possibilities than I see right now.  Let me be flexible.