So far, I've been to 3 instructional sessions. The first, for those of us here for the first time, focused on thinking about how spiritual direction is different from life coaching, therapy, pastoral care, or any of the other types of care. One answer: if the Holy Spirit isn't a 3rd partner, it may be valuable work, but it isn't spiritual direction. One might wonder how this work would be different from pastoral care. I would say that spiritual direction has both partners listening for God's direction during and between the sessions, while pastoral care could be something less than that, like helping a parishioner after a death in the family. There's significant overlap between the types of care, significant borrowing of best practices (that last part is mine, to remind me that it's OK to borrow best practices if one discerns that path).
The 2 instructional sessions yesterday focused on mysticism (primarily the type that comes to us by way of the ancient desert fathers and mothers and medieval mysticism) and icons (the Orthodox type). While much of the information wasn't new to me, I loved the sessions.
Yesterday we had almost 3 hours that we were to spend in solitude, which meant not only minimal human contact, but no books, no Internet, nothing that took our attention away from this time with God. We agreed that journaling was O.K.
So, I journaled, I walked around campus and took pictures, I journaled some more, I impatiently checked my watch to see if it was time for dinner . . . . Very interesting to realize that when I say I yearn for alone time, I'm likely to fill that time with reading or worse, with vapid Internet reading. I finally sat down in the converted sunroom of the house where I'm staying and started to sketch:
I was intrigued by how much the sketching quieted my mind--not just focused, but quieted.
We bookended the day with worship. In the morning, we walked the labyrinth, which is not an easy task in this labyrinth which is really not set up for a group to walk it--it's got very narrow paths:
In the evening, we had Compline, with a liturgy written by our director. It was lovely, although a little too brightly lit.
I really like my small group, which is good, because I'll be spending a lot of time with them over the next 2 years. I can't say much about them, because everything in small group is confidential. But it's a relief to realize that this aspect will work for me--it isn't always the case.
As I've moved through my time here, I've thought about how this experience is like a retreat mixed with a conference mixed with some aspects of a college session. If I had ever been part of a low residency MFA program, it might be a lot like that.
I've also been thinking about my yearning for seminary. Being here makes me realize that I'm not sure the online type of approach to seminary is what I yearn for. If I go to seminary, I think I want it to be the full, on campus experience. I REALLY miss being on a campus. I didn't realize how much I miss it.
Yes, in a way, I spend much of my waking hours on a campus. But it's such a different kind of campus.
I think my seminary yearnings might be the same old yearnings to run away and start over, yearnings I've had since my teenage years. That doesn't mean that those yearnings are frivolous or that those dreams are meaningless, but I want to recognize this insight.
One reason why I chose this certificate program is that I could do it without exploding all the other parts of my life. And being here helps me realize how much of this material will be important as I move through the rest of my life.
Will it open new career doors? I don't know. But for me, that's not really the point. I needed something that would help me feel better about the future. This program does that, and thus, it's invaluable to me.
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