Star Words

In some congregations today, people will get a star word.  If you're unfamiliar with star words, you can read this post on the RevGalsBlogPals site.  I've done star words with my church, but it does require lots of cutting out of stars.  This year, so far, I have not prepared any stars.

Last year, on a Facebook site, a pastor offered to select a star word for us, if we let her know that we wanted one.  Of course I said yes.  She sent me my star word for 2019:

I put it on the windowsill above my writing desk, the space that has become a sort of altar for me.  Every so often, I took a few minutes and thought about that star word.

I always saw the word as meaning a metaphorical journey.  As I look back over my sketch books from a year ago, sketch books which are a form of journaling, it's clear to me that I was already on this metaphorical journey.  I had done the online journaling workshop which helped me to realize that I was filled with yearning for a different kind of life.  That yearning has only grown more intense during 2019. 

When I think back to 2019, I will remember it as a time of discernment.  I would joke that saying that I was in a time of discernment sounds so much better than saying that I have no idea what to do next.  But of course, I had ideas--I just felt paralyzed by not knowing which one was best.  Eventually, the way became clear.  And choosing the path of the spiritual director certificate doesn't mean that I can't do the other paths that appeal to me.  I fully expect that doors may open to take me a direction I wouldn't have known existed if I hadn't done this program.

I have 2 star words for 2020.  The one chosen for me is "pardon."  The word that I chose for myself is focus.  My sister and I have often chosen a word for the year.  Some years, we can make a rhyme out of it:  "Worry free in 2003!"  As we moved into the teens, we didn't rhyme as much.

Yesterday, I wrote this e-mail to my sister:

"I came across a word this morning that I thought should be our word of the year: Focus. It fits in with the year itself: 20/20. But it also seems to be what we both need this year, to focus on what's important, to avoid getting distracted by other stuff that's less important.

It doesn't immediately rhyme, the way some of our past words have. But I like it, I think.

The one thing that makes me a little worried about it is that it might make us too rigid: focus on this, not that. I don't want it to be a way for us to judge ourselves and find ourselves lacking. Like for me, if "thin" was our word--I'd always feel inadequate."

This morning, I thought about my other word for 2020:  pardon.  My first thought was all the ways I wish I could pardon myself.  And then I thought about the people who might need me to forgive them.

But pardon is different from forgiveness.  It has a sense of absolving, of correcting an injustice.  Here, too, I sense the work I need to do.

To close, I'm going to post this picture from a pastor friend of mine.  

I admire her ability to cut out these stars for her congregation which is larger than mine.  And I love the abundance they imply.