Lately, I find myself longing for a contemplative service. I've always loved liturgy, but lately, I just want everyone to be quiet.
I got to church yesterday while the choir was still practicing. I wasn't sure I could stay. Our sound system usually doesn't amplify enough, but yesterday we had the opposite problem. Every instrument and every voice seemed much too loud. By the end of the service, my head was throbbing. I had to take some aspirin and lie still in a dark room to recover. And I'm not prone to migraines (a bit prone to headaches, whether they be caused by stress or loudness).
Not for the first time, I found myself wishing that Lutherans had a more contemplative tradition. I just want to sit in silence. Maybe I'll let you interrupt occasionally to read the Word of God. We can do a bit of liturgy to prepare for the Eucharist. But don't bother me with lots of instruments. Don't amplify. It's O.K. to remain in the background.
I know that lots of churches have spent lots of money on sound systems. I know that lots of churches have spent lots of money on grand organs--maybe on whole orchestras. But I can't be the only woman who finds her nerves increasingly jangled, who needs a space of quiet where she can hear God speak.
Those of you who are casting about for your niche in the mission field, hear my whisper! Give me a soothing, contemplative service, and I'm yours--at least occasionally.
feeling the feelings…
11 months ago