Is There a Kinder Way to Think About This?

In an e-mail newsletter, I read about a great practice in spiritual direction, a great question to ask in all kinds of situations.  Rev. Jemma Allen says, "In my work as a spiritual director and counsellor I often ask whether there is a kinder way to think about whatever it is we are discussing. Can we be kinder about what has helped us get through? Can we be kinder about the things we find difficult? Can we tell the story of the difficulties of the day/ month/ season with greater kindness?"

She's talking about the practice of self-compassion.  I am much kinder to others than I am to myself.  I will give others the benefit of the doubt, while still berating myself for all sorts of things.

I've gotten better at self-compassion.  Now I can see myself starting to spiral down into self-loathing and negative self-talk.  Does this observation mean that I stop?  Some times.  If I've had enough sleep, I'm better at interrupting the downward spiral.  If others are being kind to me, it's easier to be kind to myself.  If I'm doing creative work in addition to other kinds of work, it's harder for my brain to convince me that I'm worthless and stupid.

In a Facebook post, Rev. Jemma Allen posted more resources for self-compassion, which I'm going to paste here so that I can find them again.  I will keep the formatting so that the links work:

"Here are some resources if you are wanting to explore self-compassion more. Dr Kristin Neff is a pioneer in this field. Her website is https://self-compassion.org

 She has some guided practices and exercises on her webpage that are a great place to start.

I also find Christopher Germer’s work really helpful. Here’s a book of his: Germer, C. K. (2009). The mindful path to self-compassion: Freeing yourself from destructive thoughts and emotions.New York: Guilford Press. His website is https://chrisgermer.com

And here is the Centre for Mindful Self-Compassion. https://centerformsc.org/learn-msc/"