Prayers for a Day of Many Triggers

So here we are, another Senate Judiciary Committee preparing to ask a woman about her claims of sexual misconduct (such a polite word for the behavior) at the hands of a Supreme Court nominee. Now, as in the Anita Hill hearings in 1991, the panel will be white and male.

Now as 27 years ago, we are having a national conversation about what behavior is O.K. I am startled by the behavior that some people see as normal. Have I led that sheltered a life to be so shocked at this idea that boys will be rapists, and we should see this violent behavior as normal?

Let me stress that I'm not judging the Supreme Court nominee or his accuser--either now or in 1991. I am judging the national conversation. I don't think that adolescents of either gender get a free pass to behave in aggressive ways just because their brains aren't fully developed. We train 2 year olds to behave differently, and I don't suspend those expectations once the child hits puberty.

I will not be watching the Senate hearings.  It's not like I get a vote on this nominee, so I don't feel the need to be so informed that I need to watch this spectacle.  But it's also because I am weary.

I am weary of this constant stream of coverage of how brutal we can be to each other.  While I am grateful that people can now perhaps feel a bit more free to tell their stories, I am also aware that we are living in triggering times.  Some people will never feel safe enough to talk about what has happened to them in the past, and this coverage makes many people feel unsafe, even if nothing dreadful has happened.  The coverage reminds us that none of us is truly safe.

But if we're honest, some of us have a better chance at safety than others.  And if the worst happens, some of us have more of a chance at justice than others.  The coverage of the Supreme Court nominee and the larger #MeToo movement hammers this point home.

So, let me pray on this day of many triggers.  Let me pray for those who are about to testify:  may the testimony be honest.  May all feel safe enough to tell the truth. May the questioners maintain civility and care.  For those of us who watch the coverage or hear about it later, may we remember to breathe. 

But more than anything else, let me pray for a time when we don't have to pray for victims.  Let me hold onto that idea of a time when people's bodies are respected, when boundaries are maintained, when people will not trespass even when we are unconscious, when the powerful do not prey on the weak.