Epiphany Lessons

On Epiphany night, I walked in from one of the more tiring days I've had at work, a day of intensive final work on the departmental assessment document. This document clocked in at almost 80 pages, and it involved creating 2 charts of my own, and incorporating 16 charts from faculty members, along with revisions and creating an introduction and conclusion. Exhausting. I also had to hire a Psychology adjunct after one of the Psych adjuncts had a family emergency arise, which meant he couldn't teach the class that starts next week.

Suffice it to say, I was bone tired when I walked in from work. We ate dinner together, and I kept my spouse company in the study until we decided to call it a day and watch television.

I went to the living room to plug in the tree. I didn't realize it wasn't there until I leaned over to get the plug, and had one of those discombobulating moments. My first irrational thought: "Someone stole our tree!" Then my rational mind kicked in: my spouse had simply undecorated the house.

Again and again, from a variety of places, the Advent message pops up. Stay awake! Keep watch! You don't know the day and the hour! Again and again, I let life's vicissitudes swamp my spiritual boat.

I'm trying to adopt a simple mind frame of gratitude for these Holy Spirit nudges. I'm trying not to beat up on myself for continuing to slip away from my fully-aware state. I'm trying to remember to keep watch, because the Christmas story reminds us that we never know where God will appear, but the Bible and the lives of the faithful show us again and again that God will appear where we least expect to find God.

Perhaps God will appear even in the modern office building where we slave away on endless revisions of endless documents, cursing the copy machine and drinking bad coffee.

May We All Be Wise: The Feast of the Epiphany

Today we celebrate the twelfth day of Christmas feast day of the Epiphany, the day the Wise Men visit Jesus. Some of our Christian friends will spend time debating whether or not the Magi deserve a place in the Nativity story; after all, perhaps they were pagan astrologers, perhaps dabblers in the black arts. People of various stripes (including atheists) might argue the inconsistencies of the story or the outright impossibilities. Conspiracy theorists might argue about suppressed texts (for more on that, you might listen to this episode of The Diane Rehm Show, which talks about Brent Landau's book, Revelation of the Magi: The Lost Tale of the Wise Men's Journey to Bethlehem).

Maybe the maleness of the story (a male King Herod, a male savior, three wise men) makes you feel left out. Go here for Jan Richardson's interesting and inspiring blog post about the wise women.

Maybe you aren't feeling quite so wise. Maybe you spent more or ate more or partied more than you should have during the Christmas season. Forgive yourself. Move on. Take a walk and tidy up the kitchen and resolve to get more sleep. Take stock of what you truly need. And perhaps, go shopping one last time, as now is the time that so many stores have great sales to get rid of the last of the merchandise. Buy Christmas stuff (cards, lights, decorations, wrapping paper) for next year while it's at a 75% discount. Buy some winter clothes--you've still got a month or two to wear them. Replace your tattered underthings. Buy a calendar with pictures that bring you joy.

You might take some time for contemplation today. Play the Christmas music one last time. Think about the tale of the Magi and the gifts they bring. What are the gifts that you bring? What are the gifts that have been given to you?

Take some time for gratitude. God showers us with so many gifts, and often we forget to say, "Thank you."

The Christmas story reminds us again and again that the greatest gift is the gift of Jesus. Our Creator comes to live with us, to show us the best way to be human. Think about the life of Jesus, and make one last resolution to adopt one of his behaviors. Be kind to the outcast. Visit the sick. Share the good news. Invite others to come and see. Practice a ministry of the table by inviting people to share a meal with you. Speak in parables--or at least tell more stories.

Most of us have already bid good-bye to Christmas and returned to our every day lives. Today is a good day to take one last Christmas moment, to recover our capacity for wonder, to delight in the miraculous, to look for the unexpected, and to rejoice in the amazing Good News of a God who loves us so much that the Divine One comes to live with us.

Meditation on This Week's Gospel

The readings for Sunday, January 9, 2011:

First Reading: Isaiah 42:1-9

Psalm: Psalm 29

Second Reading: Acts 10:34-43

Gospel: Matthew 3:13-17

This week's Gospel finds Jesus at the beginning of his ministry, a ministry that shows what a difference to world history a year of two can make. Notice that Jesus begins with baptism. Much critical ink, and literal blood, has been spilled in the centuries since the baptism of Christ, as people try to determine how important baptism should be to us as Christians. But let's put those issues aside and focus on the words of God: "This is my beloved Son, with whom I am well pleased."

We tend to see Jesus as special. We can't imagine God saying the same thing about us. But in fact, from everything we can tell, God does feel that way about us. God takes on human form in its most vulnerable (well, the form could have been more vulnerable, I suppose; God could have appeared as a female slave in the Roman empire). How much more of a demonstration of love do we need?

For those of us who are big believers in affirmations, we should print out those words and paste them on our bathroom mirrors. What does it mean, if we believe God is well pleased with us?

Many of us dwell in the land of self-loathing this time of year. Maybe we've spent too much money on our Christmas festivities. Maybe we've eaten too much in that time between Thanksgiving and New Year's. Maybe we've already broken our New Year's resolutions. We look in our mirrors and see multiple reasons to hate ourselves.

We look in the mirror and see ourselves as we imagine that the world sees us. The world looks at us and feeds us criticism: too fat, too plain, too wrinkled, too odd, too tall, too short. A diet of that commentary quickly leaves us malnourished. The world looks at us and judges us in terms of all the things we haven't accomplished yet: no child or children who don't measure up, lack of business success, a house that's too small or in the wrong neighborhood, no publication credits, no worthy creative products, the wrong kind of degree or no degree at all. Seeing ourselves through the eyes of the world means we compare ourselves to others and hold ourselves to impossible standards.

No one wins this game.

Try a different practice for a week or two (or 52). Look in the mirror and see yourself not as the world sees you. Look in the mirror and know that God loves you. God chose you. God delights in you.

Our spiritual forebears might have worried that this kind of practice would lead to too much pride. But frankly, our culture has changed. In a world where more people are seeking help for the diseases of depression and anxiety disorders than ever before in human history, and many of the rest of us are trying to self-medicate, perhaps we shouldn't worry too much about big-headedness.

God chose you. God delights in you. God loves you.

You may find this hard to believe. You may be able to believe that God loves people like Mother Theresa or Archbishop Tutu, or any number of people more worthy than you. The good news is that God loves you the same way. God sees you in the same way.

No matter how much you improve yourself, God will still love you. No matter how many times you lose sight of your goals and move further away from the best self that you could be, God will still love you. Of course God sees your full potential and probably hopes that you'll move in that direction. But even if you don't, God will love you anyway. No matter how miserably you've failed, God will always welcome you.

We've lived in the land of self-loathing long enough. Why cripple ourselves with this kind of thinking? There's work to be done, and the world cannot afford for you to waste time feeling bad for all the ways you've failed. Every day, remember your baptism (perhaps as you bathe, as Martin Luther recommended) and the larger meaning of your baptism.

Tuesday Tidbits

--My friend is recovering nicely in the hospital. We even chatted for a few sentences worth on the phone last night. Hurrah!

--As I prayed for her, I broadened my concerns to pray for surgeons and patients everywhere.

--Now the hard work begins, the healing and the learning to use the new hip--and the refraining from behaviors (like bending and lifting) that will damage her body before it's had a chance to grow new bone around the titanium.

--Let us pause and say, "Great show, God!" How amazing these bodies that can grow new bone and blood. How amazing our brains, that figured out how to replace joints that no longer work. How amazing this creation that commits to resurrection on a daily basis!

--I have two book give-aways going on, one at each blog: go here and here for details. All you need to do to be entered in the Sunday morning drawing is to leave a simple comment (something like "Me!").

--I'm supposed to have a blog post put up at Living Lutheran today: resolutions that will help you take small steps towards being a peacemaker.

Praying for Our Atheist Friends Who Face Surgery

Across town, one of my best friends wakes up today (is likely already awake) to prepare to have hip replacement surgery. I have already prayed for her. And you might say, "Of course. We would expect you to pray for a friend facing surgery."

Except this friend is an avowed atheist, one of those mind made up, no hint of doubt atheists. I've wondered about the ethics of praying for atheists. I've already decided that God won't be upset if I pray for her. I pray for atheists of all sorts, usually the sort of prayer where I ask God to melt the frozen hearts of dictators, human rights abusers, those in power in all sorts of settings. My friend is no evil creepazoid. God won't mind my prayers for her safety and health, for the sure fingers of her surgeon, for her nurses.

Do I need to get her permission? I thought about this too, but I decided not to get her permission. I'm not going to be one of those loud people, who, when the surgery is a success, announces that I prayed for her. I'm not going to pray with her in a loud voice before the surgery. I won't even be in the waiting room. No, I'll pray as I so often do, in the privacy of my own bed/room/office.

I will think of those studies (perhaps disproven?) that showed that patients who had people pray for them had an easier recovery than those who didn't, even when the patients didn't know anyone was praying. I'll pray because it gives me something to do, a purpose. I can't stitch together flesh or administer drugs, but I can pray. I'll pray because it soothes me too. I'll pray because God wants me to pray. I'll pray, not because I can prove anything with science, but because it's what I do. It's a practice that will point me towards the person I want to be.

2011 Book Give-Away: #1

Leave a comment, and I'll enter you into a drawing for this book. In one week, I'll draw a name, and if you're the lucky person, I'll contact you and mail you not only this book, but a surprise book too.



Now, in the spirit of full disclosure, I'll admit that this book doesn't have as much to do with God as the title would lead us to believe. But it seems like a good book for the new year, when so many of us are making resolutions. Also, you're not getting a brand new copy--before I realized I wouldn't be keeping it, I did underline some passages. But if I draw your name, the book is yours: to keep forever, to pass along, to donate, whatever you like!

Don't delay. The drawing will take place on Sunday morning, January 9. Leave me a comment, and you're in the drawing.

Spiritual Goals for 2011

I have always had good luck with goals. Even when I don't meet them (which is often), I think the process of creating goals and checking in periodically is worthwhile. It's so easy to get off track, and having goals in mind helps me stay on the trajectory I want to traverse.

With the exception of weight loss, when I don't meet goals, I don't spend too much time in self-recrimination. I try to assess whether or not the problem lies within the goal: too ambitious, not really what I want to accomplish, simply impossible with my current life situation? Or is the problem with me: not focused, off kilter, lazy, bone tired?

I've been feeling somewhat sad because I feel off track so much lately. It was easier to meet my spiritual goals (more prayer, more reading) before my job turned into a 40+ hours a week in an office kind of job.

But still, there are things I can do. Let me make a list of my spiritual goals for 2011:

--Pray more. I'd like to consistently pray some variation of the Liturgy of the Hours. Readers of this blog will know that I particularly like Phyllis Tickle's The Divine Hours. I'd also like to do a better job of praying for people and a better job of offering prayers of gratitude.

--Acts of Social Justice. Could I do one thing a week? I won't count donating money as one of those events. But surely I could do something, even if it's simply buying some fabric for Lutheran World Relief. Other possibilities: buying food for a food pantry, serving dinner at First Lutheran, putting together relief kits, sorting through my stuff and donating to charities, creating baby quilts.

--Continue to strive to tithe. Why is giving away 10% of my income hard for me? It's harder some months than others, and I always come close (6-8%). I'd like to meet this goal.

--Carefully and prayerfully consider before making commitments. I have said yes too quickly, and found myself overcommitted. I find myself thinking, wait, I thought I would like this, but I'm finding it exhausting. One example is Christian Education. I want to believe that whatever we do is vital, even if only one or two people show up. But I've begun to wonder if it's really a valid use of my time and energy (both in shorter and shorter supplies these days) to work in an area which clearly seems to meet the needs of very few people.

Four goals. Let me not fall into the trap of those of us who make lists, the trap of having too long a list with too many goals. Let me set myself up for success, not failure.