How to Keep One's Faith in One's Fellow Humans

A friend of mine asked me how I was maintaining my faith in people.  At first I responded this way:  "I still have my faith in regular people--never had a lot of faith in politicians, so there's not much faith to lose there. Let me give a little more thought about how I'm maintaining my faith in regular people. More in the morning."

This morning, I decided that the question deserved a much more nuanced answer, and so I wanted to explore that idea in a blog post.  

--As a general rule, I don't click through on the links to stories that people post on Twitter and Facebook, especially if the story appears to be generating outrage.

--I don't have cable, so I can't watch a lot of the news shows that generate outrage.  I don't watch the local news either, since the local news is fueled by stories of people behaving badly.

--When I'm on Facebook, Twitter, and other types of social media, I look for ways that we have things in common, regardless of how much we might have different politics, values, beliefs, etc.  Most people love their children (and grandchildren) and want what's best for them, and we have wide agreement on what's best.  Most people want to leave a better world for the humans coming after us, and there's a measure of agreement on what that would look like.

--I keep in mind that stories of outrageous bad behavior get their wide coverage because the behavior is so egregious, so outside the norm.  Stories of people behaving nicely don't get ad revenue, don't get clicks, don't get comments.  But if we're aware, we see lots of examples:  the teacher who stays later to tutor, the students who help each other, the colleague who brings pumpkin bread to share, the nice notes we send each other.

--I try to be that person who sends encouraging notes, who lets people over in traffic, who smiles at the cashiers and the cleaning crew.  That kind of energy attracts similar energy, so I'm more likely to notice when other behave in affirming ways.  I firmly believe that our behavior sets an example and that others are likely to follow.  I'm putting as much positive energy out there as I can muster in the hopes that it gives others permission to do that too.

--I'm a Lutheran, so I believe in grace, and I try extending it to others.  I keep in mind that people can behave badly, but that doesn't necessarily mean that they will always behave badly.  People can have meltdowns and reassemble themselves into better people.  People can revert to bad behavior, but reform themselves again.

--I'll even let politicians have a second chance.  I remember all the times when politicians have disappointed me, and then later, they've created legislation that redeemed themselves.  Legislation or peace treaties or foundations or institutions--yes, even some of the most problematic politicians can do good, even if they've been insipid or downright evil.  Will we see the same with Donald Trump?  It's hard to believe that we would--he's significantly older than every other outgoing president, so it's hard to see that he has time to change in ways that are different from how he's behaved the rest of his life.