Today many people will be marching, both in D.C. and in marches across the country. Once again, I will not be marching, and once again, I feel oddly guilty about that.
Once I marched. I marched and I went to prayer vigils both with and without candles, and I was part of rallies. I've gone to gatherings that were part protest, part art happening; I'm thinking about a Hiroshima anniversary that had prayers for peace and paper cranes and anti-nuke activists. I've marched for and against more causes than I can remember, but my overall reason for marching was the same: I had a vision of a better world, and I hoped that my marching might convince others. Plus it was good to be with like-minded activists and other types of supporters.
I had planned to go to the Parkland rally today, even though it was scheduled for 10 to 2--that's a long time to march or even just to stand on our feet. Then I started hearing about distance parking and shuttlebuses, which wouldn't be running through the whole event so we'd be stuck there for hours. And this week, the arthritis in my feet and the pain in my left hip made me think I couldn't do it physically. But it's really about the distance parking which likely adds additional hours waiting for the shuttlebus and to get out of the parking lot.
And I tell myself that if it had looked like attendance would be sparse, I'd go, because having my body there would be important. If millions of people are marching today, it's not as important that I go.
Nineteen year old Kristin would not approve of this line of thinking. She's a harsh one, my inner 19 year old Kristin.
Will it change behavior? I do not know.
So, I have bread dough rising--it's not much in the way of social justice or changing gun laws, but it helps me stay healthy and grounded.
I am saying prayers this morning, and I'll continue to pray periodically throughout the day. I'll pray for the safety of all, those who march, those who support from the sidelines, those who listen, and those who ignore it all. I'll pray that my vision of a better world, that vision that God offers us, comes a step or two closer to incarnation with this latest round of marches.