Saturday, April 17, 2010

Hearing Voices

I'm listening to an NPR interview with Michael J. Fox. His voice is so familiar, yet so different, now that he's deep in the depths of Parkinson's disease. I've always admired his spirit, as he has dealt with his illness.

He's talking about some interesting aspects of disease, of our physical selves, the ones that we present to the world, the ones that we present to the world. His body manifests those issues more obviously than other bodies, but it's an issue we all face at some time or other.

I've had a different experience of hearing voices this week. Several different times, in several different places, I've heard someone call my name. Except that no one did. Each time, I could come up with a rational explanation. I'm not alone in my house when it happens. I'm out on the street or in the shower in the gym. Maybe I'm hearing someone else, and with all the background noise distorting sound, it sounds like my name when it hits my ears.

Maybe I'm beginning to lose my mental facilities, and we'll look back to this post as the beginning of the end.

Of course, I'm back from an intense week-end retreat, and I haven't been getting much sleep. Maybe I'm just tired.

And because I was raised Lutheran, I immediately think of all those accounts of God calling God's people, that still, small, barely discernible voice.

The voice I've heard has been the same each time, which strikes me as odd. It's sounded like someone calling out across a balcony, trying to get my attention on the street. And it's been female.

I'm perfectly O.K. with the idea of a female God. I'm a little more perturbed with the idea of a God who calls out to me, but has no further message.

I got a lot of sleep last night. Let's see if I keep hearing a voice calling out to me.

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