Inscribing the Names

My 6 year old nephew started CCD classes this year.  His first night was tough.  He cried and cried.  His parents weren't allowed to be in the room with him.  He cried some more.

I've heard him crying.  It rips me up.  But to be fair, the sound of almost anyone crying rips me up.

I'm my nephew's godmother (or, as to be more accurate, his Christian Monitor, since I'm not Catholic, and he is), so I really want this CCD experience to go well.  I took an oath at his baptism!  For days, I spent time thinking about what I could do, from this distance of 1000 miles, to ease this transition.

I thought about some kind of talisman, something he could carry with him, something that he could touch that would give him courage.  I wanted it to be ready for the 2nd night of CCD class, so my options were limited.  I had to create something that could be finished fairly quickly.

Here's what I created:

I chose a butterfly shape and cut out 4 layers of colored paper.  I wrote the names of people who love my nephew on the butterfly.  In the center:  God, Jesus, Holy Spirit.  I left room for him to write some names.

I wrote a card to explain the butterfly and to suggest that he write some more names.  I told him that the butterfly could remind him of how many people love him.  I said that I hoped it would help him be brave for CCD class, because he could meet a lot more people who will love him in CCD class.  I told him that I understood how he was feeling, that going to new classes and meeting new people can be tough.

My sister reports that my nephew took the butterfly with him and that the 2nd night of CCD went smoothly--no tears!  Of course, he also had a new friend, so that helped.  I'm just happy that his second night was so much better regardless of who gets the credit.

What I like about this art project:  it's easy!  And colored paper is so cheap.  It's a project that could be easily adapted for any number of classes or purposes.  It could be decorated elaborately or not at all.

I like the idea from Isaiah 49: 16, of our names being inscribed on the palms of God's hands.  The idea of inscribed names inspires me in all sorts of ways.

May inscription inspire you too.

Theology for Children

I am the godmother to my nephew, or as the Catholic church would call me, the Christian Monitor, since I can't be his godmother unless I convert to Catholicism.  Long time readers of this blog know that I have wrestled with the best way to be a godparent.  It's a delicate situation:  I don't want to tread on anyone's toes, but I did make some serious promises at my nephew's baptism.

I've done the typical things.  I'm always on the lookout for good books, for example.  Occasionally I write letters.  Sometimes they can be somewhat serious.  Sometimes, I'm just reminding my nephew of the ways I see God at work in the world, lighthearted ways usually, as in nods from a creator who loves us.

Yesterday I set about creating a children's sermon in an envelope.  I tried to figure out a way to combine my children's sermon and my blog post into something new.  Not quite a letter, but more than a set of science project instructions.  He'll get mustard seeds and my writing and a photo and the cover from the church bulletin that he can color.

I loved writing it so much that I started a computer file called Theology for Children.  My mom and I have long talked about this kind of project.  She'd love to create some kind of worship aid that parents and children can use when they can't get to church.  I'd love to create writing that helps children come to know the Triune God who loves them so much and in so many ways.  What does the Holy Spirit look like to a child?  Which of Christ's parables would speak most eloquently to children?  Could I create parables that would help children understand the Kingdom of God?  Could I mention the mothering aspects of God and still get published?

Of course, one of the drawbacks I face is that I have no children of my own.  But that wouldn't have to be a dealbreaker, would it?

I'd love to hear from anyone with ideas on this subject.  Are there examples of good theology for children?  Are there stories you wish were out there for children, but who need some artists to come along and do them well?  What's most important for children to know?

Theology for children--yes, I will give it a whirl. Who knows where this may lead?  At the very least, I'll have some interesting creations to send to my nephew.  

Matchbox Car Theology

My 5 year old nephew asked how people got to Heaven. My sister (his mom) said, “You remember. We put a matchbox car in their coffin, and God drives them up to Heaven.”

I saw a problem with this idea.  What if people didn't know to put the Matchbox car in the coffin?  I hastened to add, “But if there is no Matchbox car, God can get them to Heaven anyway.”

I'm his godparent.  Should I have said more?  Should I have talked about Jesus as the Matchbox car?  Even though I take my godparenting duties seriously, I don’t want to be the crazy adult whom my nephew avoids because my sole focus is on “boring churchy stuff,” as I termed it when young.

Part of me wondered if he'd understand the metaphor, although I suspect that children have less trouble understanding symbol and metaphor than grown ups do.  Part of me worried that I couldn't really make the metaphor work.  Part of me worried that I'd teach him theology which I don't necessarily believe.

In the few weeks since we had that conversation, I've been thinking about the issue of metaphor.  I've wondered about what we take literally and what might have started as metaphor.

Let me say it more plainly.  I know that many people think we don't get to Heaven without the sacrifice of Jesus on the cross.  Our sins aren't forgiven without that sacrifice.  We may have gotten that message wrong.

If you look at the agenda of the Gospel writers, some scholars suggest that a different picture emerges.  As Christianity evolved from being an expression of Judaism to a separate religion, some Gospel writers used elements of the Jesus story to subvert the authority of Jewish priests.  The idea of Jesus as a blood sacrifice means that people no longer needed to participate in the Jewish rituals of animal slaughter that brought/bought forgiveness.  But did those Gospel writers mean for us to take that seriously or were they talking metaphorically or were they just trying to move people away from the influence of Jewish priests?

Many books have been written on this subject and great rifts have been created as believers disagree.  I can't pretend to do justice to those ideas in a simple blog post.  But long-time readers of this blog know that I believe that Jesus was crucified because he posed a threat to the government.  Crucifixion was a capital punishment reserved for enemies of the state.  If the Roman empire hadn't felt threatened, Jesus would have been stoned or beheaded.

Needless to say, I didn't want to go into all of this with my nephew, so I didn't pursue the idea of Jesus as Matchbox car.  But I have been thinking about translating theology into terms that children could understand.  I have thought about symbols and metaphors that make sense to children.

A Matchbox car theology.  A Barbie doll theology.  A blankie theology.  God as Power Ranger or Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle.  Hmm.  I see problems, but also possibilities!

Becoming a Better Godparent--Vacation Bible School

I've just spent a week being very involved with my church's Vacation Bible School, which was a great experience for me, and an even better experience for all the children and teenagers. I live too far away from my godchild (my nephew) to take him to Vacation Bible School with me. Luckily, my mom plans to take him to her Vacation Bible School with her.

I understand how hard it must be for working families to commit to Vacation Bible School. When we were done with our intense week, I just wanted to collapse in a heap, with my 40+ hour work week and several hours of VBS on top of that. Some of our parents dropped their children off at VBS, but most of them stayed to help.

So, if you're a godparent and you think that VBS helps with spiritual formation, what are your options? Obviously, if you live near your godchild, you can get involved with VBS, and you can make sure that your godchild participates too.

But what if you don't live in the same area? You could still help with your church's VBS, and you could send your child dispatches from your experience; send a daily e-mail or letter to let your godchild know what you've been doing and how much fun you've been having. Maybe your godchild will encourage his or her parents to investigate VBS nearby.

You could pick up a few things for your godchild while you're at VBS. Our VBS children each got a CD of the music. If my nephew hadn't been scheduled to participate in the same program later in the summer, I'd have sent him a CD. Instead, I picked up some stickers for him. He LOVES stickers, and I'm hoping that getting an envelope of stickers will help him look forward to VBS later this summer.

It's possible that you think VBS is hokey or dreadful. If your church offers a truly dreadful VBS (or worse, theologically problematic), then you have some thinking to do and perhaps, some decisions to make. But it's also possible that you're judging it as an adult and therefore judging it too harshly. Our children had a great time doing activities that would have bored me to tears. Even as we worked on one of our craft projects that was too hard (a wind chime that involved fishing wire), the children seemed fascinated and forgiving.

I think that one of the most important aspects of VBS is that it gives children a memory of church as a fun place, a place they can't wait to be. I remember being bored, bored, bored by church services when I was a child, the very services that give me comfort and strength now. It was those memories of the extracurricular activities, like VBS and youth group, that eventually led me to yearn for a church community as a grown up.

As godparents, we say that we'll nurture our godchildren and help with their spiritual formation. VBS can be an important help to us.

Becoming a Better Godparent--Give Periodicals

So, you say you'd like to send your godchild something on a monthly basis, but you just don't have time. Give your godchild a subscription to a periodical, and let someone else do the work for you.

My mom bought my nephew (who is my godchild) a subscription to The Little Lutheran, which is also published as The Little Christian, and it's a periodical that would appeal to most mainline Christians (go here for more details). I suspect that most denominations have a similar publication.

My sister reports that my nephew LOVES this magazine. They read it obsessively each month as it comes in. It makes me happy that my nephew is both learning to love to read and to love God with this gift. And of course, since he loves the magazine, he returns to it again and again.

Some of these magazine subscriptions might seem pricey, especially compared to adult subscriptions. The Little Lutheran costs $24.95 for 10 issues. Yet that's less that $3 an issue, which is a pretty good price for a monthly gift.

So, give your godchild a year-long subscription to a periodical and let the periodical and the U.S. Mail service do the rest.

Becoming a Better Godparent--Communicate Regularly

Last time, I talked about sending your godchild a card on the anniversary of his/her baptism. But as I was writing, it occurred to me how much better it would be to communicate regularly. I like the idea of something more permanent than a phone call, something the child and parents could refer to again and again. I tend to think in terms of writing, but you could use any of the prompts to create a collage, take inspired photographs, make a recording/podcast of your voice responding to the prompt--you're only limited by your imagination and your art supplies/access to technology.

Prompts:

--What's your favorite Bible verse? Why?

--What are some other Bible verses you love? Why?

--Once a month, you could send a card with a short verse, and a few sentences about why the verse is meaningful to you.

--What's your favorite Bible story?

--Tell your godchild about a time when you've seen God at work in your life.

--If you know the family of the godchild, you could tell stories about when the godchild's family members have known that God is at work in their lives.

--Talk about something you've seen in nature that reminded you of the wonder of God's creation.

--Create prayers for your godchild. Illustrate them.

--Are there works of art (don't limit yourself to painting--think about music, sculpture, poetry, and such) that help you move closer to God? Tell your godchild about them.

--As you sing your favorite hymns throughout the year, write to your godchild about the hymn and the memories the hymn inspires.

--You might also write/communicate about the other aspects of the church service which are meaningful to you.

--If you hear a good sermon on a Sunday, write to your godchild and talk about it. If you're blessed to be part of a church that gives a good children's sermon, tell your godchild about it.

--If you're part of a liturgical church, send your godchild a card as the liturgical seasons change. You could create a meditation on the colors of the season. You could write about your memories (for example, do you remember Summer as "the long green season"?).

--As you attend other spiritual events (weddings, confirmations, first communions, other baptisms, funerals), use these events as a springboard to spiritual discussions, memories, and other communications with your godchild.

--You might also communicate your periods of doubt and despair, especially if you've moved through them. It's helpful for us to remember that living a faith-based life doesn't mean we'll be excused from the hard part of being a human (in fact, it might open us to more pain, as we try to be compassionate to God's creation).

--Tell your godchild about the things for which you're grateful. Think of ways to cultivate a spirit of gratitude in your godchild.

--As you work on social justice projects, tell your godchild about them and why they're important. You might even take your godchild with you to social justice projects that aren't dangerous: bagging food at a food pantry, serving food to the homeless, collecting clothes for the less fortunate, sending books to colleges in Africa, prayer services for oppressed groups, rallies to demand fair housing, and similar experiences.

It would be great to start and continue a dialogue with your godchild, instead of just sending missives. So you could send something, and then follow up with a phone call or an e-mail. Let your godchild know that you're open to questions and that you'll answer honestly. Engage your godchild in wrestling with the basic spiritual questions, and try not to freak out as your godchild does so.

The parents of your godchild chose you to be a godparent for a reason. Out of all the people in the world, they chose you and entrusted you with this responsibility. Just think of what a better world we'd have if we all took this job seriously. Within a generation, perhaps the problems that some churches face in terms of decline would be reversed. Maybe we'd see a spiritually mature generation full of compassion and a thirst for justice.

Becoming a Better Godparent--Send Baptismal Anniversary Cards

One of the things I meant to do, and I am resolved to do from now on, was to send my nephew, for whom I am the Christian Monitor (or Godmother), a card each year on the anniversary of his baptism.

I plan to make these cards myself. I haven't planned these out, but I like the idea of drawing something myself, or collaging images, or something that isn't mass-marketed (besides, my local Target doesn't have much). Plus, I want to write something each year.

What to write? Here are some ideas:

--If you were at the baptism, write your memories of your godchild's baptism.

--If you've been at baptisms for others in the godchild's family, write those memories.

--What did your family tell you about your baptism?

--If you know some of the spiritual stories of the family, write those down.

--Write about your own family's responses to baptism. Did your family celebrate your baptismal anniversary with you? Did you light the baptismal candle?

--You could also write about the family practices of your friends as you were growing up. Did they celebrate their baptisms.

--Write about what baptism means to you. You might talk about the water one year, the words the next.

--As your godchild gets older, write about what baptism has meant to famous theologians. For example, I love the story of Martin Luther, who is said to have said "Baptismo Sum" (Latin for "I am baptized") each morning as he washed. Not a bad daily habit.

--As your godchild gets older, you might introduce your godchild to the idea that different denominations within Christianity treat baptism differently. You might explain some of those differences (and you should try to avoid being judgmental if you can; you might not approve of adult baptism, but your godchild might grow up and fall in love with someone who does).

--If you have some photos, send a different one each year. Use those as a writing prompt.

I think that what often keeps me from writing is that I fear I don't have enough to say. But most people enjoy receiving something in the mail, even if the message is brief. Even if you only have a sentence or two, send it.

And if you enjoy these activities, why limit yourself to just once a year? Send something once a quarter or once a month. Your task, as Godparent, is to help to shape that child's spiritual life. There are many different things you could write about, and tomorrow, I'll provide some more writing prompts. And as your godchild receives your cards/writings/photos/gifts, your godchild will receive a gentle reminder of who that child is and of all the people (and God!) who love that child.

My final thought will seem grim, but it must be said. We tend to assume that we'll live long lives and shepherd our godchildren safely into and through adulthood. But we can't assume that. And even if we do live long lives, our memories tend to fade. Your godchild needs you to provide some spiritual narratives, and this task is especially important if you have memories of your godchild's family members. Get as much written down as you can.

Becoming a Better Godparent--Take the Challenge!

The baptism that we had at church on Sunday reminded me of my little nephew and my participation in his baptism. I'm his Christian Monitor; in other traditions, I'd be called a godmother, but because I'm not Catholic, and my sister and brother-in-law are, I must be called the Christian Monitor. I kind of like that title.

But lately, I've been doing more monitoring than guiding or leading. I've been feeling guilty about that. I had such good intentions.

Luckily, I've come to my senses in time. After all, when my nephew was a baby, one could argue that sending him gifts and cards made no sense, in that he wouldn't remember. But now he's getting to the age where he'll remember.

I called my sister on Good Friday, partly to chat, and partly because it was Good Friday, and I had my own childhood on the brain. She, too, is godmother to several children, and is feeling guilty about her inactivity.

So, in the spirit of sibling competition/cooperation, we've decided to inspire each other to be better godmothers. And since we can't be the only ones in need of ideas to transform us into better godparents, I've decided to start a series on this blog. Eventually, we'll all have a series of ideas.

If something has worked well for you (either as the one who did the spiritual mentoring or one who was affected by a spiritual elder), I'd love to hear about it. You could send me an e-mail, and I'd write it up for you. You could guest blog here (contact me via e-mail, and we'll set something up). Or leave comments in the comment section.