Notes on a Confirmation Service

Yesterday, we had a long delayed confirmation service.  We didn't have one in 2020, and I don't remember having one in 2019.  We have a small church, with an even smaller group of parents with confirmation age children, so there are years when we don't have a group getting confirmed.

I have now been in this church long enough that I've watched some of our confirmands grow up, and I've been part of Christian Ed initiatives through the years that gave me more interactions than I might otherwise have had.  One of them I know more as a member of a Girl Scout troop that works with our church than as a church member.  A few of them aren't familiar at all, but that, too, isn't unusual.

Let me take a moment to appreciate my pastor, who meets people where they are.  He hasn't insisted that confirmands participate in the life of the church in specific ways, like the pastors of past generations would have.  That flexibility has been a great gift during this past time of pandemic, but in truth, it's always been a gift.

Today, I lit the candles while I listened to our pastor prep the confirmands.  He reminded them not to feel stress, that there weren't going to be any special tests, that they should just relax.  That was so different from my pastor.

My pastor met with each of us individually to make sure we were really able to make the vows we were about to make.  Of course, none of us could drive.  We had that conference with my mom waiting for me.  Was I sure about my vows?  No, of course not.  But I said that I was, because all of my extended family had come to see me get confirmed.

And let's talk about those vows.  We had to recite the Nicene creed and affirm that we believed all the elements.  Now I would get around that by saying I do believe in that creed, but my interpretation may differ from yours.  And if I wrote a creed, I wouldn't focus on the things that those ancient writers of creeds did.

Today, our pastor's sermon focused on God's love for us, no matter what we do, no matter how we feel.  It was a very different kind of confirmation than the one that we had.  My confirmation day felt like turning 18, when we knew that suddenly if we screwed up, we would have a record that would follow us forever.

I often feel weepy during Confirmation services, and yesterday was no different.  I'm sure that some of that was mingled with the fact that we were having the first Confirmation service after the pandemic disrupted plans for the last one.  Part of it was feeling weepy about what these youngsters will face, about what they are already facing.  Part of it was feeling weepy about myself and how many years it's been since my own Confirmation.  Part of it was missing people, thinking about those relatives who shaped me, and how many of them aren't here anymore.

But I am glad that we were able to have this Confirmation service.  I am glad for this opportunity to reflect on my own Confirmation and the spiritual development that came later.  I am happy to be headed to seminary, where hopefully I can continue to be part of Confirmation services, part of helping them evolve to be less about whether or not a Confirmand is worthy and to be a reminder of God's grace.