Fifteenth Visit to the Spiritual Director

Yesterday I headed down to see my spiritual director.  I am astonished at how much more traffic I'm seeing.  It makes the trip down and back seem even more arduous.  When I first started working with her, the pandemic was getting underway, so traffic was much lighter.  This is a problem that will solve itself when I move to Washington D.C. for seminary, so I'll continue.  I like her very much, but the drive is at least 2 hours round trip, which means the appointment takes a big chunk out of my day.

Yesterday we didn't cover much new ground.  We talked about the recent developments in the trajectory of the disease.  I talked about worrying about overscheduling myself now that more of us can gather in groups.  We talked about ways to avoid that.

We also talked about my seminary plans and my spouse's need to decide what kind of future he wants:  to go with me or to stay here.  If he decides on staying here, he's got decisions to make about how to earn money.

In past spiritual direction sessions, we've talked about my need to control things, about the need to detach with love.  Yesterday we talked about how hard it is for me to detach with love.  I can detach, but it's hard for me to do it with love.

We also talked about my spiritual direction session in the morning, where I led a friend through a lectio divina process reading Psalm 91.  We talked about my realizing that I don't pray as much as I wish that I did, a realization I had while reading Psalm 91 several times.  

I'm hesitant to do that, because my problems seem so small compared to the larger problems in the world, and we talked about that too.  We aren't required to have bombs falling on our houses to be eligible to pray for help.

We talked about spiritual practices being a process that can help us remember to pray throughout the day.  As always, these ideas aren't new to me.  I like having these conversations because it's good to remember what I already know.

My resolution for the coming months, as I'm detaching, I want to remember to pray to God to ask that God help me detach from the process, not detach from my love.  And I want to remember to ask God to help--with detaching and with life in general.