Did
the Lutheran pastors of my childhood really preach that message? Probably not.
But that was the message, I heard.
As I think about it, having a pastor smudge ash on a forehead and
solemnly say, “Dust you are, and to dust you shall return” probably does seem
excessively gloomy to an elementary school child.
As
a grown-up, however, the message of Ash Wednesday seems increasingly
relevant. I remember one Ash Wednesday
driving to services with my car windows rolled down. As I drove past the latest development site,
I smelled the burning of trees being cleared away to make room for a paved over
shopping center/condo complex. I heard
the Ash Wednesday message in a different way that night.
The
most poignant Ash Wednesday for me was the one where my mother-in-law lay
unconscious in the ICU ward of the hospital.
I went to visit her before the service, and I saw the black cross of ash
on her forehead. I wondered if our
pastor had already been by.
But
then, I realized that all the patients in the ICU lay there with a black smudge
on their foreheads. I asked the nurse
about it. She told me that a priest had
come through to bless everyone. I wanted
to ask her all sorts of theological questions about the implications of letting
a priest smudge everyone without knowing their religious backgrounds, but I
knew that she had patients to monitor, so I let it go.
My
younger self would have been outraged, but my older self continues to ponder
the implications of smudging crosses of ash on the foreheads of unconscious ICU
patients. The ICU is the place where I
find my belief in resurrection most challenged; it seems that viruses and
bacteria will inherit the kingdom of God long after they’ve killed us all off.
But
after all, isn’t the ICU experience an essential element of the Ash Wednesday
message? We are here for such a short
time. We try so hard to preserve what we have, thus ensuring that we will have
to watch what we love flake away from us. We are dust, and we will return to
dust sooner than we care to think about. As an adult, Ash Wednesday has become
one of my favorite services. I need to be reminded of the importance of
prioritizing, and that God's priorities may not match those that the world
would tell me is important.
Ash
Wednesday also reminds us that we are resurrection people. We know that God is working to redeem
creation in ways that we can't always see and don't often understand. We rinse
the ashes out of our mouths with the Eucharist bread and wine.
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