For some of us, it's the time before Christmas where we feel the full-on crush of Christmas needs. If we have friends and family members employed by churches, this is a high-stress time. I imagine it's similar for people working in retail. For me, this year, the bulk of my work is done, and I'm at the stage where I'm checking to see if my professors have turned in grades yet.
Let me make a list of what I want to remember about this term, Fall 2022, my first term living on campus. Some of it I've already mentioned, I know. But it's worth looking back, at this point in time:
--The only grade I've gotten for the Fall term, the grade for the whole course, not individual grades on assignments, is an A for Church History I. That grade was not assured--for my first short paper, I made an 80, which is the lowest grade I've made post-undergrad studies. It was a paper full of proofreading failures (my spell-check changed Perpetua to Perpetual, and I missed a few times it did this--grrr). I also misspelled my professor's name. It was not the first impression I wanted to make, and I spent a restless night wondering if I should drop the class. I decided not to drop the class and to write an e-mail apologizing for misspelling my professor's name and poor proofreading; even if I ended up making a B in the class, I could be OK with that. But I thought that if I worked intently, I could make an A- or maybe, maybe, an A.
--I realized that the kind of writing that often works for classes wouldn't work for Church History I. In my first paper, my professor was sharply critical of me bringing my 21st century views to judge the martyrs of the early church. I had suggested that the early church may have championed martyrdom to make it more palatable to believers who were going to be facing the ultimate penalty by the state. As I reviewed for the final exam, I thought about my early beliefs about martyrdom and how there were aspects to it that I resisted. In fact, it's still hard for me to shake my belief that the early church turned martyrdom into the best kind of virtue because they couldn't make the empire stop killing believers.
--My Church History I class pushed me to do different kinds of writing, and so did my Foundations of Preaching class. My teacher expected us to do a depth of exegesis that I was never quite capable of doing. But attempting to do it pushed me in good ways.
--My Creative Process, Spiritual Practice class introduced me to new practices, along with pushing me to go deeper in forms I already knew. Some people might think I got a good grade for doing what I'd already be doing in terms of creative stuff, but that's only partly true.
--Let me also record some memories of housing. When I first arrived in my apartment and started getting settled, I wasn't sure what my spouse's housing plans would be in terms of where he'd be spending the most time. It turns out that it was easier for me to come to him in North Carolina than for him to come here. At first, I felt this guilt, like I had given misleading information in the housing application that I filled out back in March. But then I realized that there were still 2 bedroom units empty, so I decided to stop feeling weird about claiming a 2 BR apartment for myself.
--Still, it took months before I moved anything onto the top of the dresser that would have been my spouse's if he lived here, his side of the closet. I still haven't much. Our housing still feels unsettled, with a house under reconstruction in North Carolina.
--Of course our housing situation is still unsettled because of the seminary's plan for bulldozing older buildings and putting in a high rise. The seminary president will have an informational meeting by way of Zoom on Jan. 5. I hope he has more specific information about timelines and costs that will help me make plans for next year.
--I have so enjoyed living right on campus. It has been great to be just steps away from my apartment when evening classes end, not half a mile or further away. I have loved neighborhood walks. I have loved being able to leave materials spread out without feeling like I'm in anyone's way. I have loved being able to set up a schedule that's best for me, without it impacting others too much.
--My spouse and I have had a video chat by way of Facebook once a day--it is a game changer. So much better than talking on the phone.
Let me close (for now) by admitting that I am thinking back to this time last year, when it looked like my job might not end, but it did, when we were beginning to feel despair that we might never actually sell our house, but we did. In so many ways, this Fall 2022 Semester leg of my seminary journey has been similar to how I imagined it (the immersion, the opportunities) but in some ways, so different with not as many people living on campus as I imagined, with fewer extracurricular opportunities. And a year ago, I had no idea that my dream of owning a house at Lutheridge was about to come true.
What a strange time it's been, this past year, full of pivots and whiplashes, and so many blessings.
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